Limiting Beliefs & Self-Sabotage

The thoughts we think literally affect the shape of our brain. They shape and reshape our neural pathways and direct our network of subconscious belief systems that affect the way we feel, the way we act, and the decisions we make on a daily basis - all without us even being aware that this is happening.

And make no mistake, our brains pay very close attention to the thoughts we think and the words we say. It’s almost like having a small child or a younger sibling around - even if you think you’re not being overheard, it’s safer and more realistic to assume you are. Our thoughts and our words are not just mindless chatter to our brain. Our brain takes in every single thought and every single word, and it’s job is to make a split decision decision about whether to store or delete that information. 

It uses a whole host of different variables to decide what to keep and what to Marie Kondo out of your head. But one of the most prominent variables your brain relies on is frequency. In other words: how often does this thought or thought pattern come up? How familiar is it to  your brain? The more frequently we think or say something - the more important, or at least relevant, your brain will assume it is. And if your brain thinks it’s relevant, it’s going to keep it.

On the opposite side of things, the less frequently we think or say something, the less importance your brain places on it. And because your brain has a limited amount of storage, it can’t hang on to everything. So if your brain deems something unimportant or irrelevant - it’s usually going to ignore or delete that information.  

So I want you to take a moment. 

And imagine that your brain is like playdough. 

When you were a young child, it was like playdough fresh out the package: soft and pliable. Easy to form, then reform, then form again if you wanted to. As many times as you wanted to. As a kid, it’s fairly easy to shape and reshape your thoughts and belief systems. 

But as you grow older, the playdough starts to stiffen and harden. It gets more and more difficult to reshape and remold our thought patterns, beliefs, and world views. Sometimes it’s easier to just leave the playdough be. Rather than putting in the effort to reshape it, we put it down on a table and forget about it. 

And we know what happens to playdough when we leave it unattended for too long. The more time that passes, the more the playdough begins to keep whatever shape it was in when we put it down - sometimes, it even gets stuck like that. 

So, Erica (you might be saying) how do we keep our brains from getting stuck??

We all have scripts playing on repeat in our heads. You know the ones. Those scripts that suck you in and have you running through them from start to finish before you even realize you’ve begun.  

Your brain has ingrained those scripts until they’ve become a part of it. It’s like driving a car the exact same route to work every day. Some days you end up at the office and belatedly realize, I don’t even remember driving here. That’s because the route has been traveled so frequently, and so consistently, that it’s become muscle memory. 

The same thing happens with the neural pathways in your brain. 

Those scripts you have on repeat, those thought patterns you have on repeat - that’s what’s contributing to your subconscious network of belief systems. 

The more consistently and frequently you think a thought or run through a thought pattern. If you ingrain it far enough, it eventually becomes a belief. The stronger the belief, the deeper it goes. 

Some of these beliefs become so strong that they end up burrowing down into our subconscious - which means that we’re not even aware that we hold this belief. And yet the belief is rooted so deeply and intertwined so tightly with our identity and our view of the world that it actually has a significant and tangible effect on our thoughts, decisions, and behaviors. 

All without us even being aware of its influence operating behind the scenes. 

But luckily, the subconscious doesn’t have to stay that way. We can shine a light on our subconscious and make it conscious. We can become aware of our patterns, and as we trace the themes that run through them, these themes will lead us directly to a very specific type of belief: a self-limiting belief. The beliefs that protected a previous version of us but no longer serve us, and in fact usually result is us getting in our own damn way most of the time. 

When you think of self-sabotage, you’re thinking of self-limiting beliefs.

Have you ever experienced a desire or a want for yourself, but it involved change in some way, shape, or form? Chances are that initially when you tried to implement this change, you kept hitting a wall. That’s because your conscious brain had decided it wanted something that your deeper sense of self didn’t believe it had permission to access. 

This was your self-limiting beliefs keeping you stuck in whatever your current status quo was. 

Think about your life as it stands right now. 

Think about what you want more of in your life. 

Whatever it might be (Sex, Money, Success, Love, Happiness, Acceptance, Safety, etc.) - think about that thing or things you want more of. 

Once you have it in mind, ask yourself the following question: 

How many areas in my life do I currently feel a lack of this thing?

If you notice multiple areas, it’s likely because you have a self-limiting belief or beliefs that mean deep down - you don’t believe you’re allowed access to it. 

So I’m going to wrap this up by leaving you with some questions to reflect on in relation to this topic: 

Question # 1: Who taught me that it’s not ok for me to have this thing? 

Question # 2: What belief do I now hold because of those messages?

Question # 3: What belief do I wish I held instead?

Hope these are helpful, and enjoy reflecting!

- Sending you peace and power on your healing journey,

Erica